So I just sat there."So I had the baby, and I tried to adjust. Timmy was actually good for me in one sense, and that's when I knew how complicated all this was going to be, because I love Timmy with all my heart and soul, and yet I can't abide the thought of his father. I hate the man, but love his son. And so finally I left, to try to start over somewhere where the surroundings wouldn't keep insisting that I was a slut, and got what I deserved."She looked back up at me from down there on the floor ... where sluts are supposed to be. I couldn't stand it, because while there had been a time I thought that way, I was ashamed of that time, and I couldn't fit her in that category again. I reached for her hands and stood. It was awkward, pulling her up, because her feet weren't in the right position. But she didn't argue. She stood. I put my hands on her shoulders and sat her down on the edge of the couch again. Then, just to show her I wasn't like the others, I sat down next to her. I. Anyway I couldn't seem to helpmyself and it was just so tempting that from the time I was maybe 13until Joy moved out and got married, I'd sneak in her room when I wasalone in the house and I'd put on her garter belts and nylons and evenher bras and panties. It felt so good and it was like an addiction. Butafter I'd, well pleasured myself, I'd feel really guilty and vow to neverdo it again. But I kept doing it. After she moved out and took all herstuff I stopped. I still had the urges but never did it again. Not surehow I was able to stop but I did. So anyway that's why I'm telling you.Maybe it's a hereditary thing and I pased it on to you. Probably not butwho knows."Paul sat there not believing what he was hearing but it did help him torelax a little. But it was so weird listening to his dad tell him that hehas or at least had the same urges as he does. And that he was actuallyable to tell him this. But he was wondering why his dad was wearingnylons now when he said he stopped a.
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